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“The researchers realize that their results can be depressing, but they also agree with the many readers who caution against reading too much into the preferences of online daters and speed daters. I married a black man, who I am now (17 years later) divorcing, but the point is that I think the world is FULL of potential, why limit yourself?Yes, these daters clearly discriminate by race and height and looks and other superficial qualities, but they also temper these biases once they get to know one another.” People who are terribly picky in choosing partners online will relax their standards if they spend just three or four minutes talking to someone at a speed dating session. They will always be embarrassed about fried chicken. While you might be dreading meeting older family members due to 50 years of internalized racism, he just as much fears that your family wants to retaliate for having to endure ignorance while they were coming up. Talk to your family, and if they don't want to meet him, sit with that. You shouldn't not see a man just because your family has prejudices, and the same goes for his family.6. I had never listened to Radiohead before dating my last boyfriend, even though I had heard they were a pretty influential contemporary band. If you want to point out your melanin difference, there are loads of costumes you can partake in.Every damn body loves fried chicken, but now he's far too aware of the stereotypes associated and will be torn about it every time you pass a KFC.4. As much as we live in a post-racial society , their friends may not be as enlightened as they are. Seasoning skills are not something you are born with. Maybe he doesn't know the words to "Creep" by TLC, but you don't know the words to "Creep" by Radiohead either, so be open to those experiences. Be Uhura and Spock from Star Trek, be Pocahontas and John Smith--or, you can blow everyone's minds and go as just a pumpkin or a witch. But, you can definitely take yourselves less seriously on October 31st each year.9.Apparently the way I carried myself and the way I spoke convinced them that I would attract mostly white guys.I wasn’t sure how to feel about that but it got me thinking about what black girls imagine when they consider dating a white guy.This creates a conflict with many white men, especially those from my generation (age 47) or older.

Even fewer can say with conviction that they trust a Black woman in either a business or personal relationship.Because of this, I have dated quite a few White guys, and while there are similarities when dating any man, there are still some small cultural quirks that never go unnoticed when you’re with a White dude. Trust me, while it gets easier to explain, it doesn't ever stop needing to be explained.2.They don't want to say the N-word, but they do want to talk about why some people do.Shutterstock For the longest time, I have been told that I am the “type of black girl” that white guys would be falling over themselves to date.I would always get defensive and force them to explain how they came to this conclusion.My friend, former Rutgers Business School Professor Dr.